Sunday, April 3, 2011

The rain

                                    
When cloudy was the sky and it turns to the dark color, the stream pour off the heaven water to the paddy field, canal and road area. The raindrop falling down on me as fell the pour fresh, nice and cold water more than the ice. When the splinkling rain, the little princes are producing sweet-sounding melodies of croak. Suddenly, the thunder and lightning sound coming when the heavy rain. I myself fell the echo into my breath and graspping with hand.

4 comments:

  1. Your idea is good but when you write,it has some ambigius. You should improve the vocabulary or changs some sentenses to be a sentenses.

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  2. I like 4-5 sentenses beacause that is a real suituation when the splinkling rain, that was a good idea.

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  3. In the beginning of sentense is good but the last sentense you should write again. I think you have more idea but you don't know how to write.

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  4. I was imaged when I read your writing because there was a good creative and makes me smile while reading.

    ReplyDelete